Re: ONCE UPON A TIME, THERE WAS BUEA - BAMENDA

Tah Mfar,
You have a pen Sar! This is much more lighter than your bullets with Rev. Awasom.
It appears I used to loiter around this BB, perhaps as a Konto boozer. Late Prof. Asanji, Dr. Achu, Daddy Njomo, Mr. Tumban Aaron were the "grands". Ah, those were the days!

On Dec 4, 2015 11:04 PM, "'Mishe Fon' via ambasbay" <ambasbay@googlegroups.com> wrote:
Buea-Bamenda was this famous bar situated at Hospital Round-About near Preventive Medicine and former Bali and Mbengwi Motor Park. Buea-Bamenda or BB was neither a registered full-fledged Bar nor an off-license. It was part "supermarket", provision store, matango house and three rooms 4 backside 4 CP. If you were not an insider, no one will tell you that the facility had provision for that "specialized" activity. Booze flowed. SOYA was in abundance. Camaraderie was the order of the day but like most drinking places, there were some konto drinkers who were accused of never offering rounds. When it came to their turn, they would simply vamoose. Konto boozers knew everyone. They had manyaka shweet mop. They were sleek and smooth sales men without realizing their potential.

What made BB so special and popular? Well several parameters including, location, price of booze, the availability of numerous Bali, Baforchu, Batibo, Banso and Babungo girls who were in hot competition with "Nursing" school girls sometimes spiced up with Longla, PCC, KTC, CCC, NACHO experienced picken dem...and the Political discussions. I will focus here on the politics of BB and BB chicks.

If you wanted the latest on, Suffer Don Finish(SDF) or "Sudden Kamalloon SCNC Ambazonia Movement" BB offered an abundance (in fact too much information) and various conspiracy theories. The problem; No one was supposed to contradict the narrative of the "story teller" who was always quoting from "reliable sources". I remember on one occasion, I was sipping my "Porter 39" soffre soffre when Mr. Ambe (a teacher with PCC Mubang) said he had been reliably informed that the United Nations had just granted statehood to SC and the new President appointed by the UN was Ambassador Fossung. The problem he continued (to the listening enjoyment of his audience) is that when the document landed in Yaounde, Paul Biya just grabbed the nonsense and "tearam to pieces". Dat Paul Biya yi head no correct 4 inside?

In my usual inquisitive mind, I asked him where he got such an outlandish information, to which he replied: "See me some ngnie man. Na bicos me na you dey drink Mbuh for this Matango house wey you think say I be ya class? Look hia, I just kommot 4 Yawinde weh Mb'ya don put army sotey reach for Sanaga bridge. I beg no make me I vex. Some thing wey I seeam with my koro koro eyes U kam dey ask me neeguisse. Listen, SC has been liberated and elections will be held in two months. No more no less.

As you can imagine, the Political "Mbuh" pundits will debate on that topic for almost one week until they ran out of steam or arguments...then a new guy will just materialize from Yaounde again with fresh "abracadabra" Breaking News with analysis.
The beauty of BB was everyone and anyone could be seen there. I had met dignitaries like Governor Aboem a Tchoyi, Governor Andela, Noko Mbella, Colonel Tataw, Chien-man Fru Ndi, Ni Batonier Ben Muna, Dokta Tchwenko and other Bamendrous big names knacking their "Nduh" nayor nayor @ BB...No questions asked.
As for the numerous women who "beautified" the place by their mere presence; it was good for business. Women never bought drinks but some ended up drinking more than the men who offered the "Nduh". The belief then was that, if a chick accepted your booze...then she was yours for the evening. You then became the "Titulaire"...even 4 one Nite.

The unwritten rule was that if Pa Ngwa Frutambo was the first to offer the "Nduh", then no other guy had the right to "counter-offer". For example; women usually drank "Grenadine, Champagne soda or Top Anana, Pamplemousse or any other cheap sweet concoction:. But when a guy showed any interest, she will upgrade to a much more serious booze like Beaufort, 33 Export or small Guiness. If another guy manifested any modicum of liking for the same "ngah", she will politely tell you (the new dragueur): "Dat man 4 dey na yi don buy me two botro Ngange. If you want, geep me Gold Harp then geep back the man yi mimbo and I go tell yi say me na yi no dey again". Usually, that arrangement worked flawlessly except on rare occasions like this one.

So this Bakossi guy who was working with SNEC had already assured his "evening" by dishing out sotey two beers to this fine Bali woman. He knew he had her under lock and key. He continued his political discussions with the rest of the group. Suddenly another friend whispered to him: "U sure say U don perm dat Bali mammie so? See, how she dey drink na high class mimbo now Na you buy yi Gold Harp? Massa U get money oh". Furious, our Bakossi friend walked up to "his Fiance" and said:
"Mamoun, Njika ba-ghe, Tam 4 go don ket. Wuuk up make we go". To which the Bali mammie replied "I no dey me with you again. Na dis fain boy be my new man". Na dey big FIGHT broke.

The whole Buea Bamenda went in support of the Bakossi man claiming: "First Come, First Served. You no fit drink man yi mimbo then begin dey play Baforchu Mafia games. Either U back the man yi mimbo (with interest) or you go "service the guy". Why wuna Bali girls wuna wicked so? Wuna no fit belleful one man? " And the girl with no shame will answer back: "I don tell wuna say, me I like me na this other guy. Ih no dey trong hand or get Japanese Hand Brakes. Last time weh I go with this yeye Blakossi man, na daso 500F CFA ih geep me 4 morning tam. Wuna think say ih correct so? I no go buy chop 4 pikin dem? I no go buy soap 4 wash body, Nku cream or baby pancake? See me some crisse man. Dat yi stupid office 4 "Snake' dem no dey pay yi 4 moon die?

At the end of the day, everything was settled amicably and everyone went home happy.
Story long tam short. For the rest of the langua, call me privately for updates on how Buea Bamenda eventually became a big Transportation company with branches in Limbe, Kumba, Muyuka, Douala and Yaounde.

Tah Mfar Mishe Fon

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