Malchance !!!!!!!!!!!!!!My Time Has Come

Two drama prone things happened to me this morning.

 

1) Someone hacked into my email account and since 4.15am has sent out 7886 undeliverable mails. As you know all the undeliverables return to your inbox...and you have to clean up the mess.

Can someone help? I think I know who did this (looking at the time frame and which "netter" was churning out multiple mails at that same time).

2) As if that was not bad enough, the door bell rang and I saw this smol oyigbo boy staring at me:

 

Mishe: Yes Sir, how can I help you?

Oyigbo Boy: I am from the Scooter Store.

Mishe: Yes, and your point is?

Oyigbo Boy: Congrats, I have come to deliver your wheel chair.

Mishe: What? Do I look to you like I need a wheel chair? Ma Mishe, kam kwik kwik badluck don catch ya man. Dem don bring me wheel chair......

 

You see, that is the problem with turning Feepty and above. Everyone starts to "Sorry 4 U" even Ngopna. Everywhere you go, ya name changes from Mishe to Pa Mishe or outright Repe, Tonton, Coup "Plier", Vieux Capable, Wata Go Leave Stone, Senior Citizen, Sucess du Temps Passe, Papa Kangkwe, Njim-Tete, Massa charge yi pocket, Sponsor, Mon Pere, Sugar Daddy, etc etc. Take note, there is no need for linguistic neutrality.

You will start receiving mails from AARP, Reverse Mortgage Ads, Lens Crafters, ERISA (Employee Retirement Income Security Act...for welfare benefits, Life, disability and other Fiduciaries), COBRA (Consolidated Omnibus Budget Reconciliation Act), HIPAA (Health Insurance Portability and Accountability Act...a so-called non discrimination and wellness program)...

 

Now this small Oyigbo Sales man has been sent to deliver a Scooter I never asked for and don,t even need. 4 his information, I still dey lek bomboy (although smol high brod, smol dat ara sick 4 taya wey we been discuss last time, dey inside me). Have those Wheelchair people seen me well well? Wuna tell them. I still play Tennis, Soccer on Sundays, I Jog, I also.....and wuna think say na 4 Internet I go discuss whether or not I dey perform the sports wey all wuna want hia? Ih go hard wuna.

You guys are all sick. Wuna tok wuna own first. When we discussed PROSTATE Cancer here a few days ago, all man enter Sissongo...

 

Enjoy your weekend everyone.

 

Mishe Fon