Re: Re: Re: [MTC Global] [HQ] Let us Create a 12/29 Memorial

Happy morning

I personally feel that self defense mechanism should be taught to the girls, in
order to avoid such kind of tragedy.

With kind regards
Dr. Usha devi.N
MLAFGCW

On Thu, 03 Jan 2013 12:49:05 +0530 wrote
>Dear All,
Having done a stint in an NGO - where I had come across many Girls from weaker
sections of society...exploited...harassed...beaten up...till they ran away from
Home and through our volunteers at the Railway Stations in collaboration with RPF
would bring such girls to the Shelter Home....there was a young girl....about 13
year old...who had been raped...she had a baby....the caretaker...Mother...was so
attached to the baby...even all other Inmate Girls...about 140 odd in numbers
which would go up and down depending on the rehabilitation efforts...
This Girl herself an underaged girl was not good in taking care of the baby which
is why the mother (who was an unmarried lady) would often counsel her and at times
would get so angry...would shout at this girl and the girl would pick up the baby
and want to leave the shelter home...
One day there was a small crowd of people in the office...the rapist had come out
on bail and had had a change of heart...he had come with his mother, father and
his elder sister to try and convince this girl to accept him as her husband with a
marriage proposal....try as they might...all the counselors drew a blank with the
girl very adamant and would not even come out of the girls dormitory to meet these
motley crew....
I was busy drafting some Marketing Proposal when the Mother Superior -
Anita....and a Counselor approached me and told me the whole story...asking for my
Help... somehow I was in the good books of all the Girls ( Head Office - Shelter
Home for Girls where I used to operate from....and there was another Home for Boys
too which was in another corner of Delhi ) besides a Juvenile Home for minors
(boys) at conflict with Law. I was at a loss myself....but there were some girls
who were also with these two colleagues and they had such a pleaful look in their
eyes...I agreed to give it a try... I had a meeting with this girl in the visitors
room first to try and find out her intentions... though a little uncomfortable
with the role as I had no formal training or exposure to counselling...still I was
convinced that I need to give the girl a right advice which may change her life...
I began by first putting her at ease asking her how she felt in the shelter home
which was her new home for about 4 years.... she didn't have many
friends...neither she showed interest in learning Life Skills...Beautician,
Artefacts...etc. I told her the harsh reality that when she would attain 18 years
age...as a major what did she look to achieve and how she aimed at supporting her
baby... she was at a loss. I then slowly told her for the sake of her baby to give
her all happiness...she needed to give a thought to the proposal of the boy who
had come to seek her hand.... Uneducated...unskilled...immature as she may have
been....she looked into my eyes directly and asked...Sir...This is the same person
who violated me...was unmoved to my tears and pains...I have gone through hell and
lost all Happiness... how can he give me back the 5 years of my childhood which
went in suffering... and how can I trust him that he will not repeat the offence
with a legal permit... I had No Answer...
I realized then...I was more vulnerable than her....she had perhaps a mental
maturity more than mine....at times we have good intention...but we also need to
take into account the feelings of others.... in our zeal to do good for somebody
we may actually end up pushing them into something which we had no intention of
doing....
"Nirbhay's" Parents have agreed to disclose the identity of the girl - Damini...if
appropriate Rules using her Name are framed to uphold a
strict deterrent punishment for rapists....While Media is now on a wild goose
chase raking up Biti Mohanty's case who is absconding - abroad with the connivance
and help of his DIG father (Retd.)... despite this high voltage covering which
shook the entire nation....the incidents of Rapes are still being reported daily
from different corners of our country....
We can of course have a curriculum of Counseling...seperately for Boys & Girls
from School levels....but for the drop-outs and weaker section of society where
boys are just pushed into any profession to support a family and who get mixed up
in Crimes due to their association with bad characters at work....we need NGO's
who reach out to the grass roots and address these problems....also it is very
much necessary to change the mindsets of the KHAPS who have donned the mantel of
being the Justice dispensing mechanism in rural india. I would suggest that rather
than having Scholarship.... the need of the hour is to raise an army of counselors
and fund them for this outreach for changing the mindsets.

Warm Regards,
Stephen Narayanan

On Thu, Jan 3, 2013 at 1:4ac1 AM, Usha Devi N wrote:

Happy Morning



All schools and colleges should have full time counselors. Apart from this

TM/NLP/yoga/ Meditation should be made compulsory. If this done, inner strength of

the students (boys and girls) can be developed and sexual misconduct can be

minimized to some extent.



With kind regards

Dr. Usha Devi.N

MLAFGCW



On Tue, 01 Jan 2013 14:07:03 +0530 wrote

>









While it is a good thought to institute a a

scholarship, can we think of more active/ concrete steps to address the root

problem ( and avoid recurrence of the unfortunate incident)?



1. Considering that one of the culprits is a 17

year old boy, there seem to be a need to build awareness / sensitivity among the

students so that they do not fall prey to such crimes. As more and more girl

studentsget enrolled, there is all the more need for it.





2. In the past, there have been instances of sexual

harassment in the schools/colleges by teachers/principals ( though all of

them are not well publicised). We

couldthink of avoidance of such instances by preventive steps(in

stead of waiting for the worst to happen) by initiating a dialogue with the MTC

members.



Such concrete actions to make all girl students

/teachers "Nirbhay" will possibly be the real tribute to Nirbhaya.



Rgds

ORS Rao


Stephen NarayananGeneral Manager - Corporate Resource CenterFortune Institute of
International BusinessPlot No.5, Rao Tularam Marg, Opp. R&R Army Hospital,
Vasant Vihar, New Delhi - 57.Tel.:- +91 11-47285016 (D). Mob.:-9868386192





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Dr.Usha Devi.N
MLAFGCW-Bangalore
+91-9945410045

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